Since my dad's suicide, I have felt extremely lost. His death has made me question my life, my dreams, my needs and my beliefs. It is easy for me to laugh and put on a happy face, but inside I feel agony. One thing that helps the pain is thinking, "it could always be worse." I think of the horrible situations others have lived through and it stops me from feeling sorry for myself. It's easy to be selfish and to take life for granted. But when someone close to you takes their own life, it makes you ask yourself what's worth living for. I don't want to waste my life because I know how precious my time is. I'm not religious yet my morals are strong and I stand for what I believe to be fair and right. This perspective made me come to the decision about volunteering.
About a month ago, I finally promised myself I would help those less fortunate. I convinced my amazing mother to fund my trip in lieu of another semester at college. Some might cringe at the thought of my leaving a university but I see Cambodia as a real life education. Whatever the opinions may be, I am happy with my decision. After a very long time, I feel I have a purpose.
I picked IVHQ (International Volunteer Headquarters) as the organization to go with. I wanted to go somewhere that I knew nothing about. I chose Cambodia after one day of research and I booked my flight a week later. I will find out the orphanage which I will be volunteering at in 3 weeks. I have now read many books and articles on the country, watched movies and talked with past visitors. Cambodia will be my adventure of a lifetime. I plan on giving as much help as I can to this country and its people. In 5 weeks, my life will change. I will leave my family, my animals, my comfort, and my country. I will travel over 7,900 miles across the world. My stomach is filled with butterflies and my heart is filled with hope.
Cheers to life changing experiences. Cheers to my dad. Cheers to precious life. Cheers to Cambodia.
