Yesterday was very tough. After promptly being picked up from the airport, I took a 45 minute tuk tuk (a motorcyle with a carriage attached) ride to the volunteer house. Riding through the dust-filled streets, I saw things I had never before seen. The poverty, the animal cruelty and the horrible driving made my eyes and brain hurt.
A few girls said hi to me when I entered the house and then I was shown my room. After climbing 3 stories, I entered my living space and immediately felt sick and overwhelmed. The first thing that came to mind was, "how am I going to make it?" I honestly thought of booking a flight home right then. My room is small, smoldering and has no window to the outside. I was alone, afraid and cluesless in Cambodia. I shut the door, layed down on my bed and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I took some Xanax but even that didn't help. I tried coming downstairs to socialize with the other volunteers but they were busy planning their trip to Siem Reap and didn't have much time for me. So, I went back to my sauna - I mean room.... I proceeded to sleep through lunch and dinner. Around 2:00am, I got up, took a cold shower, brushed my teeth and put my pjs on. I crawled back in bed and tried to calm myself down. This was happening and I had to suck it up and deal with it. Closing my eyes, I hoped things would get better.
A few girls said hi to me when I entered the house and then I was shown my room. After climbing 3 stories, I entered my living space and immediately felt sick and overwhelmed. The first thing that came to mind was, "how am I going to make it?" I honestly thought of booking a flight home right then. My room is small, smoldering and has no window to the outside. I was alone, afraid and cluesless in Cambodia. I shut the door, layed down on my bed and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I took some Xanax but even that didn't help. I tried coming downstairs to socialize with the other volunteers but they were busy planning their trip to Siem Reap and didn't have much time for me. So, I went back to my sauna - I mean room.... I proceeded to sleep through lunch and dinner. Around 2:00am, I got up, took a cold shower, brushed my teeth and put my pjs on. I crawled back in bed and tried to calm myself down. This was happening and I had to suck it up and deal with it. Closing my eyes, I hoped things would get better.
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