Sad babies and 80s music

As I walked into the orphanage today, my eyes immediately went to the new face.  A boy about one year old had a look of pure terror in his eyes.  He was holding on to a Cambodian worker when she shoved him into my arms. 

He cried and cried until I fed him and gave him a rattle.  The children all came to inspect him and they gave him kisses and hugs.  It was incredibly sweet but the baby kept looking around at all the strange new sights and sounds.  When I gave him water, he could barely drink out of a cup.  I got him a bottle and rocked him to sleep.  As soon as his eyes shut, one of the boys threw a tantrum and the noise startled the baby awake.  He would not stop crying for a while after that.  Finally, after countless attempts, he closed his eyes again.  With his head on my chest and hands near my neck, he slept until I left.  I wonder if he will still be there tomorrow because I miss him already.

After work, I came home, drank a cold Pepsi and ate a delicious dinner. I am getting a little tired of white rice though... just a little.  Even when we had finished dinner, my roommate and I craved french fries and frozen yogurt.  So, off to the mall we went.  A few other volunteers were going to a bar that played 80s music, so we met up with them after pigging out.

We had a few cocktails and listened to awesome tunes.  It reminded me of a club called Townhouse in Sacramento and made me miss my best friend.  Later, we went accross the street and played pool.  A nice ladyman took our drink orders and served us peanuts.  After a long day, I'm finally in bed and ready for sleep.  Only one more week in Cambodia.  Only one more week with my new friends.  Only one more week with my babies.  Yep, leaving is going to be hard...

"That's SO American"

New volunteers have started today.  I'm horrible with names but I'll eventually learn them.  There are two girls from southern Australia, a couple from Scotland and a guy from New Zealand.  I can feel the girls sniffing fresh meat.  I'll sit back and enjoy this show.

Tonight is the welcome dinner and I'm ready for some beers and Cambodian conversation.  I already joked with the two Cambodian project directors about getting drunk like last time.  They are so shy but they had big smiles and said yes.  So tonight should be interesting.  I think I'll wear a skirt and tube top and show off my pussy.......cat tattoo on my back.  This will be my last welcome dinner and I plan on making the most of it.

The stereotype people have about Americans is kind of sad but sometimes hilarious.  I have been told I have a very "California" accent.The other day, when I asked if people were excited for the Avengers movie coming out, Nuno said, "That's so American."  Well, if liking action movies with buff hotties is American.... then yes, I'm VERY American.  Having so many cultures in one house, makes for lots of excitement and it makes me want to travel more.  I feel like I've barely touched the tip of the travel iceberg.

Work was intense this morning.  Lot's of crying and hitting.  Van Hon decided I was the devil for making him clean up so he punched, slapped and kicked me.  I set him on his bed and told him to stop.  Of course he kept screaming and continued to hit.  When a Cambodian woman lookes over, he pointed at me as if I did something bad.  She smiled at me, walked over and spanked him.  Not my first choice but it wasn't my place to say something. 

My roommate Louise, who works with me decided not to go back to work this afternoon.  Hopefully the kids act civil for me since I will be by myself.  And hopefully Louise enjoys herself at the pool while I work...  I can't complain too much because I stayed home a couple days when I was sick.  It all evens out.

I have about 40 minutes left until lunch is over.  Definitely time to take a nap and rest up for the kiddies.  I wonder if I will get beat up again...

I've found my true calling - It's being naked in the ocean.

Koh Rong Island has left me breathless.  The white sand, the untouched jungle and the crystal clear water made me question my reality.  Was I really there?  Or was it all a dream?  I swam naked in the sea, drank tequila with a hot Aussie and smoked a joint (or two) with a scuba diver.  Whether dream or reality, I'm a changed girl.

"Well girls, if this is where we get split up and sold into slavery... It's been real."  Thankfully the group has the same sick sense of humor as me.  So when I joked about our impending doom at the ship yard, they all laughed.  We found our boat amongst the heavily polluted water and set forth toward heaven.

When my toes first touched the sand, shivers went up my spine.  Never in my life had I seen or felt sand like baby powder.  Ten feet from the ocean stood my bungalow.  It took a bit of adjusting with the red ants, no shower and mosquito nets.  However, the beach at my doorstep made it worthwhile.  The first night, we drank red wine and ice cold beers while watching the waves crash.  We went to bed at a reasonable hour and woke up to the sound of roosters crowing the next morning. 

For breakfast I had a pancake with fresh lime and sugar.  Everyone was shocked that I had never tried a pancake like that.  Something to add to their big list for Americans.  After breakfast, we jumped in the ocean.  We looked for sand dollars and shells and admitted when we were peeing.  The unspoken rule was to swim away from the group then do our business. 

Yosibell from Venezuala, Nuno from Portugal and I rented snorkel gear and began our search for sea shells and sea creatures.  When the sand flies became too much for us to handle, we headed back.  At dinner, I brought out the tequila.  Shit was about to get crazy... Fast!

Before we knew it, we were all naked in the ocean.  The tequila was gone and we were drinking a bottle of white wine and a bottle of vodka.  A jellyfish stung my left tit as I floated about.  Interesting feeling.  I guess I had started to float away into the deep sea because Lyndon from Austrailia pulled me back in.  ...Lyndon has dark hair, bright blue eyes, hard arms and an accent that will make your knees weak.  Too bad he was only on the Island for the weekend. 

After putting our bathing suits back on, we ran to the bar.  The owner turned up the music and we started to dance.  Keep in mind we were pretty much the only guests.  An American diver lit a joint and we passed it around.  It started to rain and we danced on the tables.  I lived up to my nickname, (boobs out Emily).  I wanted to go in the water again, so Lyndon and I ran toward the ocean and jumped in.  He told me about where he's been in California.  When we met back with the group, we got stares as if we did something nasty.  Psh, they were so in the dark.  American diver lit another joint and we kept dancing in the rain. 

The whole experience was like watching a movie.  This stuff doesn't happen in real life.  I was completely happy.  It was pure bliss, pure fun and pure Cambodia.

Surprisingly I woke up with no hangover.  I said goodbye to the volunteers that were staying and caught the boat with a few others.  Something very random happened along the way.  My Cambodian fire dancer was on a boat heading opposite us.  I doubt he remembered me but we waved to one another with big smiles.

I'm now on a bus back to Phnom Penh.  Dusk is slowly passing and slipping into dark.  There is no air conditioning and my legs have fused with the seat.  Ants linger by and mosquitoes buzz past me.  All these annoyances and I truly don't care.  I'm filled with happiness.  I love Cambodia with all of its surprises. 

So this is what finding yourself feels like . . .

Orphans at the Water Park

Nothing was going to stop me from going to the water park with the orphans.  No matter what my stomach issues were or if I had a headache.  I was gonna man up and give those babies an excellent day.

When we arrived at the orphanage, almost all the children were dressed in special outfits.  The boys had on pink shirts with beige overalls.  The twins, Lita and Lida had on adorable dresses.  Shylee was wearing a pink shirt with bright red pants.  The nuns had put a diaper on her and she was tearing it off every chance she got.  All the children had looks of complete happiness... Except for Vishna.  My sweet one year old boy was not dressed.  The Cambodian women said he couldn't go because he was sick.  I thought to myself, "I told you so!!!" 

Yesterday, Vishna was running a fever and he was very lethargic.  I kept asking the nuns and workers if he was sick.  They literally laughed in my face.  Every single one of them said, "No, Vishna Tired.  Vishna not hot, he not sick."  Of course I'd hoped I was a total moron for thinking this baby was sick.  But no, I'm not an idiot and when a baby has a fever, wont eat, and can't function.... um.... he's sick! 

Anyway, back to the water park story.Volunteers, nuns, kids, and workers headed downstairs to the "nun-mobile."  Before we could enter, we had to sit through 2 prayers that lasted longer than Gone With The Wind....  Finally in the nunmobile, we started toward the park.  The no air conditioning mixed with more sing-praying was an intresting combination.  I soon tuned out everything except the children.  As my eyes scanned the bus I saw nothing but gleeful smiling kids.  My eyes teared up when I looked at each individual child.  These babies are amused by so little.  They are over the moon about going into the playroom for 2 hours a day.  Now, they were actually getting out of the orphanage and breaking routine.  I cannot describe what I felt because the energy in that bus was beyond words. 

"WATER!!!" screamed Keo, as we pulled into the parking lot.  He jumped into my arms and bounced around.  Entering the park, I saw a HUGE sign explaining the complex water filtration system.  Now, I was excited!  Yay!  Clean water!

...Nope...  no clean water.  Murky, band-aid filled water.  Sharp concrete beneath my feet and dark, damp changing rooms.  But the kids could care less about the clarity of the water.  It was hot and they wanted to swim.  Soke kids loved the slides and some just screamed for their lives.  Every 5 minutes I would be a brat and ask the nuns if they were going down the water slide.  They would laugh and laugh and tell me, "oh no!."  The children with C.P. we carefully carried in the shallow pool.  It must have felt so good on their aching bodies to be completely weightless.

The kids had hamburgers and french fries for lunch.  Shylee picked up scraps of food on the ground with her toes and tried to eat them.  She gathered as many hamburger paties as she could and grasped them firmly in her hand.  It was interesting to watch her hoarding behaviors.  It really made me think of her life.  What she has been through.  This 10yr old girl has obviously struggled to exsist.  She is severely Autistic and it makes me wish she had proper care.  I think she could accomplish great things if given the chance.

After an amazing day, we piled in the van and headed back to the orphanage.  Back to the barred windows.  Back to the 2 hour playroom time.  The twins' mither was waiting to take the girls and you could feel the tension.  We said our goodbyes and parted ways.  Best wishes to Lida and Lita.  They will forever be in my heart.

This day confirmed that I will someday adopt.  I have a deep love for these kids and if I can help just one, I will.  Hell, If I could take one home with me in two weeks, I would.All in good time...

"Em, you're gonna make an excellent mum"

With my tummy still on the fritz, I powered through work today like a champ.  The kids however, were more vocal about their feelings.  There were lots of tantrums, lots of poop and copius amounts of pee (or, 'wee' as my Australian mates would call it).  I just plugged my nose and worked through all the bodily fluids being thrown at me.

The 1 year old twin girls, Lita and Lida are leaving the orphanage tomorrow.  I would like to say this is bittersweet but honestly, it's only bitter.  The twins haven't been adopted, their HIV positive parents decided to take them back.  I've seen the parents before and I'm sorry to say I am not impressed.  The mother and father have filthy clothing and look unwell.  I should be happy the girls are going back home but I worry for their safety.  Hopefully, I have incredibly misjudged these people.  Hopefully Lita and Lida get plenty of love, an education and security. 

On a better note, tomorrow all the volunteers are taking all the children (except the 2 infants) to the water park!  I cannot wait to see their smiling faces as they splash around and go down slides.  Even the dissabled children are allowed to go.  They are going to have a blast. 

Two nurses a few years older than me came in to visit the children.  They have recently opened up a clinic in a nearby province.  I was holding and rocking baby Pissat to sleep when one came to check his breathing.  He needs medication, as I expected.  Still holding the baby, another volunteer stood next to us.  She bluntly said, "Em, you're gonna make an excellent mum."  I don't know if I was just overly emotional but I nearly cried.  It was such a simple thing for this woman to say and it touched my heart.

After I placed the baby in his crib, I saw Shylee (Autistic girl) looking up to no good.  Sure enough the 10yr old girl had pooped on the patio.  I was beyond grateful that another worker saw and was going to clean it up.  5 minutes later, Shylee peed on the floor.  I cleaned her up and tried to be positive.  I thought maybe she wasn't getting enough attention.  So I played ring-around-the-rosie with her.  She was laughing and smiling.  Immediately after "ashes ashes, we all fall down" she peed.  I cleaned her up and tried even harder to be positive.  Regardless of my positive attitude she continued to pee on the floor and she never peed when I took her to the toilet.  All she did was eat soap and spit on me.  Interesting....  Very interesting.

Completely drained from work, my roommate Louise and I decided we wanted pizza.  We went home, washed all the interesting smells off ourselves, grabbed Emma and headed for the mall.  We had yummy veggie pizzas and garlic bread.  Followed by frozen yogurt with chocolate chips.  I haggled a fair price with a tuk tuk driver and we headed home.  Now, totally awake from the soda I drank with dinner, I'm trying hard to feel tired.  I have to get up early tomorrow and I want to be well rested for the kiddies.  I'll try and sleep now.  Going to bed with good thoughts about kind words on my motherly abilities. 

A day to myself

Today, I woke up drenched in sweat.  And while that was no surprise, the fact that I was shiverring cold was.  My tummy hasn't been my best friend this past week.  Without going into too much detail, let's just say I've become very close with my toilet.  This morning however, was bad, so I decided to stay home.  I didn't want to scare the poor children with my loud and angry tummy sounds...

I'm going to stop drinking the water from the volunteer house.  They say it's filtered but I wonder when they last changed the filter.  For now, only bottled water will be quenching my thirst... and coke, coke will be fine...

Other than some sharp, tummy pain, my morning has been great.  I did some much needed laundry and hung it to dry in the sun.  It isn't too hot with my fan directly on me, so I can comfortably read on my bed.  I'm on the second Hunger Games book and so far I am rooting for Peeta. 

I called my granny and we had a nice conversation.  I think this last weekend had her freaked out so hopefully it helped hearing that I was fine.  After, I called my mom, only to find that my B.F.F Kelly was at my house!  We joked about how creepy it made her seem.  Good times.  Hearing everyone talk made me happy.  I miss home but even after all the crap that's occurred, I still love Cambodia.  I think it's a love/hate kind of relationship. 

I was sad that I wouldn't see my babies today but I think this day to myself is just what I needed.  I've been around people almost the entire time here so being an introvert has proven difficult.  After making a full recovery I will be ready for the last half of my trip.  20 more days!  Oh how time flies!

Did that really just happen!?

What a lovely Sihanoukville vacation..................  I was sick on my birthday but felt better the day after.  I went to a beautiful beach and swam in the ocean.  Little, striped fish and medium crabs swam by me.  It was so much fun and it made me fall in love with the South Coast of Cambodia. 

Most of Saturday night was just as much fun as the day.  We went for dinner, saw fire dancing and drank a bit.  The fire dancers were super sexy, so after a few drinks, I grabbed one and we danced under a black light.  He smelled like lighter fluid and had rough hands.  Aside from the normal tourists, there were quite a few perverts.  This man who was most likely a pimp tried taking photos up my friend, Yosi's dress.  I pushed her legs together and gave the pimp a bitchy look.  With her South American accent, she said, "that creeper juss try to take picture of my poooosy!"  Mixed with the perverts were pretty "lady-men" hookers.  Nuno was very surprised when I pointed one out.  I think he was crushing on he/she and was freaked out when I told him what he/she was. 
Nearing the end of the night Nikki told me she was heading back to the hotel.  I gave her the key and told her to be careful.  I continued to dance with my sexy Cambodian but suddenly came to my senses.  I ran to catch up with her and we started our 5 minute walk back to the hotel.

We made sure we were walking on the correct side of the road.  We passed quite a few motos and politely declined their offers.  Then a moto did a quick u-turn and before I knew it, Nikki was no longer by my side.  I turned around to her yelling and saw her being dagged along the pavement by the moto.  She made the driver and his passenger lose control and they crashed into the divider.  I ran toward her and kept going after the driver.  They were able to get the bike up and going before I could catch them.  The people who witnessed it did nothing to help.  A boy picked up the driver's dropped hat, put it on and walked away. 

My friend was bleeding, crying and I was in total shock.  We went back to the hotel and tried to get the police.  These Russian tourists gave us bandages and antiseptic.  I took Nikki to the room, washed her up and dressed her wounds.  I gave her some pain meds and we made all the necessary calls.  The police weren't coming until the morning so we tried to sleep. 

Both upset and exhausted, we finally shut our eyes around 5am.  Every little noise woke me because I was scared about the theives having our room key.  I awoke at 7am and left my sore, sleeping friend to ask questions of management.  They rang the police again and told us they would come at 10am.  I had little faith they would actually show up. 

To my surprise the police came right around the promised time.  A sweet hotel employee translated for us and Nikki was able to get everything signed and fingerprinted.  The only issue was they needed her to stay one more night so she could talk with the chief of police in the morning.  This was a huge issue.  I wasn't about to leave her there and we both wanted to get back home.  I called Serei, our project manager/angel, on the brink of tears.  He talked with the officers and then informed me we could come home.  Yay!  We couldn't wait to get to Phnom Penh.

Yosi grabbed us a couple tickets on their bus and we hauled ass to the bus station.  I don't even want to think about what I left behind, we were just happy to get out of that horrible province. 

On the 5 hour ride home, Nikki and I had our share of inappropriate laughs, appropriate cries and necessary head shakes.  Sihanoukville had got us and we couldn't believe it.  Dinner was waiting for our group when we arrived home.  After eating, I showered and then attended to Nikki's scrapes and gashes.  She told me I should be a nurse, no doubt.

I am once again happy to be home.  Especially after this interesting weekend filled with many ups and and as many downs.  At least I can honestly say I partied in South East Asia, danced with a hot, sweaty Cambodian and drank from a bucket.  I'm more aware of the dangers here and I will be more careful.  It shook me up but I'm grateful Nikki isn't seriously injured.  Though, no more "snookie"ville for us.